I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize