all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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