I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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