Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
