Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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