Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
