now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
