You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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