I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
