i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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