i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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