Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
