dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize