did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize