if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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