Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
