that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
