She is in my trunk
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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