Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
