I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
