he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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