I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
