i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
