sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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