In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
accomplished twins. life is a go
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
