Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
