you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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