Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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