I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
