soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He passed out mid-signature
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
