Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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