we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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