areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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