Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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