I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
