when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
