I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
