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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
