Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
