i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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