Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
