i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So squirting runs in the family.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
