this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize