you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
