is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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