Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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