Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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