I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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