Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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