your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I touched a dick in church today
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
