Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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