I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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