just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
