We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
