He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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