I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.