sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.