I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
