It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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