Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
