I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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