He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
