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glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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