I don't usually arrange sex via text message
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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