24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
