it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We just shotgunned beers for America
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
